#Three Stooges eh

[slickbackdani]

So, with the end of the current hiatus nowhere in sight, the creators of Epic Rap Battles of History have been releasing short videos in which they respond to people's matchup ideas and talk about whether or not they'd do them. What follows are my thoughts on each suggestion.

Dog the Bounty Hunter vs Chris Hansen: Terrible; Dog stopped being relevant years ago and Hansen has no real valid matchups

Jack Sparrow vs Bilbo Baggins: They might be able to pull it off, but the connection is tenuous at best

Malcolm X vs Nelson Mandela: Perfect. Do it immediately

Dexter vs Punisher: Could work, though I prefer Punisher vs Peacemaker

The Wiggles v-NO

Marco Polo vs Zheng Yi Sao: Awesome; the show's always great at spotlighting obscure historical figures, so this would be fun

Sheldon Cooper vs Rick Sanchez: I don't really get their reasoning for passing this one up. "I don't wanna use Rick because his creator is problematic," they say seconds before suggesting Roseanne instead and three years after using Harry Potter

HP Lovecraft vs Mary Shelley: Could work, but Lovecraft might be better suited for a more prolific author

Captain America vs Mussolini: Could work, but I prefer Cap vs Batman

Black Panther vs Catwoman: Unique idea; would be cool to see which versions of the characters they use

Ethan Hunt vs Angus MacGyver: Meh

John Wilkes Booth vs Lee Harvey Oswald: I'm glad they turned this one down; it just sounds very insubstantial. The fact that they each killed Presidents is the only thing either of them are known for

Robin Hood vs Ned Kelly: Sounds awesome; I can’t fathom what Lloyd was talking about when he said Robin Hood can't be made "cool." Has he never heard of any of the non-Disney movies he was in?

Steve Harvey vs Dr. Phil: Meh

The Three Stooges vs The Three Musketeers: IT'S ALL I WANT AND I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG

Patrick Bateman vs Andrew Tate: Bateman is worthy of a rap battle, but there is no fucking way a disgusting sack of shit like Andrew Fucking Tate deserves to be immortalized in this or any series. Not only is he a monstrous asshole, but since I'd never heard of him before he got arrested, he just comes off as too second-string and his image too fleeting to be remembered after the battle's release anyway. It's like how Sarah Palin and Napoleon Dynamite appeared in season 1; what's the point? Bateman would be better off facing another fictional character like Tyler Durden or Tommy Shelby or Rorschach or Homelander or any other member of the "you're missing the point by idolizing them" club

Miles Morales vs Dick Grayson: A great idea for a battle, but it irks me how they seem to only think of Dick Grayson as Robin, and even then only how he was portrayed in the 60s TV show. Since Dick Grayson's graduation to the solo hero Nightwing and his leadership of the Titans have been the status quo in the comics for decades, and even his TV and movie appearances as Robin clearly show him to be more than the hyperactive goofball that Lloyd portrayed him as in season 2, their lack of research here is jarring — especially considering how diligent they are with their other characters (remember, Peter read every issue of the Dragon Ball manga and watched every episode of Breaking Bad in preparation for the later half of season 3).

Garfield and Jon vs Calvin and Hobbes: Eh, I don't see it. No disrespect to their creators or fans, but they just ain't rap battle material

Metallica and AC/DC vs Slayer and Guns n Roses: I agree with them that a team battle between unrelated heavy metal acts would be unwieldy, but any combination of those four could totally be awesome in a straight 1v1 battle

Richard Nixon vs King John: Could work, but I'd rather have Nixon in a Presidential royale

Barbie vs He-Man: Another "meh" idea, but I'm not fond of Peter's assertion that He-Man is only known for the bad '90s movie when he's appeared in multiple media before and since that have all gained a far more positive reception and a strong fanbase

[popculturebuffet]

Halloween Blog Promo!

It's almost terror time again you happy people! Spooky season is only a week away as I write this and i've got reviews a plenty of all the spookiest stuff for the season. As always a lot of this is thanks to the people who fund this blog: WeirdKev27, Brotoman.exe and emma fici who are patrons at patreon.com/popculturebuffet and reguarlly comissions reviews. Thank you guys so much. Thanks to them and to my own weird brain i've got a weird, wonderful and hopefully haunted spooky seaosn ahead so let's break it down. Reviews may change if something comes up but for now...

Week of 9/29: Ghostbusters: Kev has me looking at this legendary comedy from one of the best , Harold Ramis with an all star cast as three scientests who discover the world beyond decided to exploit their new find for fun and profit after getting fired. Thus the ghostbusters are born! Quickily hiring a down to earth vet and annie pots in one of her best roles, our heroes have to take down an elder god, rick moranis and an obstructive beurcrat with no dick. Top 12 Uncle Phil Moments: Not really part of spooky season but just in time for Averyfest, we look at James Avery's best role. What moments of uncle phil stood out? How many of them have him in a goofy wig. Read to find out!

Week of 10/6: Sonic Scrapnik Island: A patreon sponosred review brings to a spooky tale from Sonic's idw continuity! Our hero and his hetro lifemate tales crash on an island of old badniks slowly wasting away and Sonic must team up with an old foe to fight another old foe. Notable for it's creepy tone, great art and finally making it clear classic sonic is indeed the same universe again before Sega finally flipped back to that idea over "Their parallel worlds just dont' think about it" and a world rejuoiced. Garfield's 9 Lives (Book): The first of a three part look at one of Garfield's best stories told three ways! Taking the idea of a cat having 9 lives, Garfieldn's nine lives is an anthology with a mixture of comics and one or two prose tales as garfield lives his best lives as a caveman, a viking, in a fantasy garden, as a detective, as a stooge, giving into his darkest nature, as a lab animal, as himself, and in space. A wide variety of talented artists and writers make for one hell of an anthology. Phantom of the Paradise: He sold his soul for rock n roll! A true camp classic i've finally seen and FINALLY get to cover for it's 40th anniversary, Phantom of the Paradise follows Winslow Leech, a nerdy composer whose cantana Faust is stolen by music scumbag and literal monster Swan. In trying to get it back leech ends up in jail, and an accident after soon turns him into a monster seeking revenge. It's phantom of the opera meets faust meets the picture of dorian grey as the awesomely dressed Phantom stalks Swan's fancy rock club and evil villian lair the paradise. Add in a ton of satire of the music scene, phil spector and music scumbags like him, camp, deft direction by a young Brian De Palma and a truly awesome soundtrack by the one and only Paul Williams who also plays the utterly creepy swan in a truly underated and magnificent performance, not to mention Jessica Harper belting out two all time classics of williams and you have camp rock n roll greatness. Week of 10/13: Ghostbusters 2: The sequel you knew was coming. The Ghostbusters are back, having gone their separate ways after they were deemed quacks by the public in a realistically depressing move. But they soon get their liscenses back thanks to a hanging judge who pissed off enough ghosts that one had to be in court during trial. So our heroes soon square off against the evil and ancient vigo the carpathian, his comedy assitant and about 80 metric tons of slime. Featuring a killer soundtrack, some decisions good and bad and you have a movie i'm eh on revisting but may enjoy. WHo knows? It has Oingo Boingo at least.

Garfield's 9 Lives (Special): The prime time special that continues as garfields lives get swapped a bit! He's still a caveman, himself, in a garden, and a lab animal but is also a slave owning pharoah's cat, a composers cat, a short lived stunt cat, a fairly normal kitty in an utterly heartbrekaing story, and in space again but in a diffrent way. Week of 10/20: Gwendolyn Zapp Special: We look at Big City Greens resident tech weirdo in some truly terrifying tales! From psychological torment, to smart trucks to a horde of zombie vegtables, there's nothing this tech mogul can't ruin somehow through a lack of forsight and a determination to fix problems the easy way.. with robots and no human insight! Sam and Max: They Saved Max's Brain!: Sam goes on a noir filled rampage! Will anyone surivive? Survey says ... no. Garfield's 9 Lives (Boom): The finale as we explore.. er 8 this time. THey didn't bother with modern garfifeld for this arc from Boom Studios! run of garfield comics. This time Garfield is once again a test animal, in space, a cave man and a detective but adds on king, superhero, pirate and cowboy to his resume in a series i've never read but am excited to try. Week of 10/27: Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror I: We wrap up Halloween with a tribute to the late great james earl jones. We look at the start of a fine tradition as the Simpsons do Halloween! usually after halloween because they air late but still, it's a seasonal treat that for better or worse is great to have every year. In this first trilogy of terror James Earl Jones guest stars as america's faviorite family deals with a haunted house that tries to kill them but can't cope with just.. living with them, a twilight zone parody that debuts beloved instutions kang and kodos, and a straight up adaptation of the Raven that proves grief is the scariest thing of all and bart looks adorable as a raven. The Meadow Party Election of 1984: Not for the spooky season but it's in october. I take a long overdue look at one of my faviorite comic strip arcs juts in time for election. Back in 1984 berkely breathead decided to have the cast of bloom county run their own political part so from 83-84, the cast tried to get one of their own into the whitehouse. While longtime cast member and my spirit animal and desk buddy Opus was drafted for VP while out to get snacks, the party's first pick John Glen was taken. So our heroes tried for Limekiller, a former cast member who came back, made opus life as his roomate hell, then left after saying some stupid offensive shit about his party because back then was disqualifying. Better days. So instead our heroes run bill the cat.. who was legally dead but still is better than the republican parties canditates today so hey. Watch as our plucky underdogs deal with kissing problems, hold a fundraising concert, go to california for a caucuss, try to get michael jacksons endorsment, and flame out when their candiate joins a cult. It's one of my faviorite stories in all of comics and i'm thrilled to share it.

[swede1952]

Good morning. ⏰🫘☕

26 April 2024

When I was a small child, in Oakland, California I think, my mother worked for a while as an usher in a movie theater, uniform, flashlight, the works. She took my brother and I to work with her once and let us watch a Three Stooges Movie. Funny, I don't remember how we got to the theater or how we left but I remember sitting and watching the movie, with popcorn. Thinking back, we were pretty small, and it is amazing that we sat for the whole movie and weren't up wandering around. I couldn't have been more than five and my brother was two years younger. But it was the Three Stooges after all, the pinnacle of cultured entertainment.

“Oh, a wise guy, eh?” - Moe Howard

“Nyuk nyuk nyuk!” - Curly Howard

“I’m a victim of soicumstance!” - Larry Fine

[rememberwincollection]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Old Guys Rule The Three Stooges T Shirt Oh A Wiseguy Eh?.

[eddystshirts]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 00s Vintage Three Stooges Oh Wise Guy Eh T Shirt Graphic Tee Black Large L Solid.

[clarklovescarole]

Oct. 23, 1936: All About Clark

CLARK GABLE is in the Metro commissary eating lunch. He sits at the long table reserved for the writers and directors. There is only one other actor, Spencer Tracy, who ever sits at this table and mingles with the boys. 

Seldom do tourists glimpse the stars dining in the Metro commissary. Robert Taylor may be seen there, but I have never seen Joan Crawford, Myrna Loy, William Powell, etc. Gable finishes his lunch, gets up and walks to the sound stage where he is working. This particular day he happens to be working in the flicker, “Love on the Run.” On the way to the sound stage, he stops at his new dressing room building, goes to his dressing room, puts on his makeup and costume. Then he strolls over to the sound stage. He always appears to be alone. There is no entourage of stooges surrounding him.

On the set, I have never seen him with a valet or a secretary. He has no expensive portable dressing room on the set. Occasionally, the studio pitches a temporary dressing room on the set for him. He likes to rest on a couch between the long waits. 

On the set, he will sit in a camp chair and generally keeps to himself. He usually has a copy of the scenario in his lap, and is reading over his lines. Sometimes he will call over the script girl and “run through” a love scene with her. The script girl plays Crawford or Harlow, whichever is in the flicker. 

He seems to be less concerned about his career than any other big name star. He takes things easy. Perhaps he did his worrying on the way up. He had tough sledding. 

For seven years he tried to break into silent pictures. It was the talkies that gave him the chance. He was an extra in the silent version of “The Merry Widow.” Director von Stroheim fired him after three days. He made a movie test for practically every company. He made enough tests to be pasted together and released as a feature picture. It was Lionel Barrymore who saw to it that he got the chance at Metro. The movie test which got him a job was a scene from “Bird of Paradise!” He wore nothing but  a rose behind his left ear, and a narrow piece of cloth about his middle. 

He is 6 feet 1 inch tall, weighs 195 pounds, with brown hair and gray eyes. He has dimples in his cheeks. He’s a guy with hair on his chest. He likes to go hunting and to drive a car fast. He has a specially built Dusenberg, the only other like it in the country is owned by Gary Cooper, and he can hit 125 miles an hour in it. He really can sock. Maxie Rosenbloom wishes he had Gable’s punch. He insists that it was no rabbit punch that knocked out Allan Pomeroy in their film battle. But he admits that it was an accident. It was practically the first punch of the fake fight, and Pomeroy walked right into it. 

His favorite actress is Carole Lombard. They get along well. He hasn’t any pet name for her. She has plenty of pet names for him. 

There is a new custom in Hollywood – to get an actor and actress who are having a romance and team them in a picture. The fans want to watch the lovers they read about. Taylor and Barbara Stanwyck together in a picture was great at the box office. Metro is going to team Clark Gable and Carole Lombard in the flicker “Saratoga” while they’re hot. 

He was born in Cadiz, O., on Feb. 1, 1901, at 4:30 in the morning during a snowstorm. He is an only child an the first member of his family to go on the stage. He has had many jobs before he became an actor. He was an oil driller, lumberjack and telephone operator, but the oddest job he ever had was the job he took to get a job. He took a job in the advertising department of a Portland newspaper. He read the “Help Wanted” advertisements when they were handed in before they were printed. When eh read about a position he was interested in, he’d apply for it before the paper was on the streets. 

His favorite dish is a juicy steak smothered with onions. His favorite drink is gin. He likes to listen to good music, but isn’t fond of dancing. 

He can be seen on the chute de chutes at Ocean park because Carole believes it is good fun. He prefers to sit on a couch in front of a fireplace.

Oct. 23, 1936; retrieved from The Daily Times

[athyathye]

Mission failed successfully

(Shinichiro, Baji and Hanma)

Author's note 📝: Who do you think would be the best wingmen in tr?

Warnings ⚠️: pure fluff! But a tinge of profanities~ as usual lol

➵ How their friends help set them up with you(their crush)

Shinichiro :

❥  Best believe this boy is supported by all 3 of his friends. I’m not even kidding.

❥ Shinichiro had one wish among many desires, and that was to get you, to be his girlfriend.

❥ If the others had to hear one more word about how you smiled at him in the cafeteria during lunch time, they would gladly cut their own ears off.

❥ There should have been a limit to how far they know you, but Shinichiro could never keep his mouth shut. At this point he may very well be considered a stalker with the amount of things he knew about you.

❥ But then again, they didn’t really want to spend another hour of of second-hand embarrassment from watching Shinichiro make a fool out of himself.

There was a limit to denseness, but it seemed like that didn’t apply to you. You walked around the school with no care. Eyes closed with a seemingly permanent smile on your face, anyone could tell why Shinichiro had fallen head over heels for you.

You were friendly with everybody, that deluded other people into thinking you liked them or that they had a chance. Though, whenever they tried to make the first move, shadows would be looming over your pretty face. You never seemed to notice the devilish looks behind your angelic ones.

The 3 stooges all huddled together, watching their leader blush and gush over you at the corner. They seemed to be talking really heatedly as Wakasa held Benkei’s collar after a few exchanged words. Takeomi broke them apart, uttered something about the plan starting.

About to leave school, you stretched and yawned. Not paying any attention to your surroundings. You walked slowly because of the fatigue that had built up, you noticed somebody at the corner of your eye. You examined the figure before realizing it was Shinichiro, the nice guy who always handed you some kind of heart shaped sweets in the morning.

You excitedly walked a little faster to greet him, calling out his name to make him face you as if he hadn’t already been doing that since the moment you laid eyes on him. What you didn’t calculate was the foot that was suddenly placed in front of yours.

Your eyes widened in fear. “Y/n!” You heard somebody cry out, but you had already shut your eyes tightly. Your hands automatically blocked your face from falling onto the ground, but thankfully another person had quicker reflexes.

It seemed like Shinichiro also didn’t expect something so soft to greet him aside from the hard tiles behind him. His hand was on your waist, the other behind your head to keep it from shaking. Your face was squished in his chest and he prayed to every god there was for you to not hear his thundering heartbeat.

“Shinichiro-kun!” Your alarmed voice woke him out of his daydream. The way you looked down on him…

“Eh?! You’re nose is bleeding!!! Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I must be really heavy!”

‘Yeah, this is a good way to die. Izana, you insolent brat, I told you I could get a girlfriend.’

Baji :

❥ (I think I have Baji brain rot-) Ehem, out of these three characters, Baji would have the most luck in actually having useful friends.

❥ One by one, they would fail hilariously at setting you both up. But as a team, there was nothing but success in their eyes.

❥ Since the moment Baji had revealed that he liked you to the group, there was not a single day in which you didn’t see Mikey and Draken friendly waving at you through your classroom. Chifuyu, chatting and talking to you as if you’ve been friends for years. And Mitsuya politely smiling at you whenever you two bump into each other.

❥ It was almost burdensome to have the whole group looking at you from time to time, but none more than your personal hound dog, Baji.

❥ If you thought the others had a close eye on you, think again. Baji would literally cater to your every need, every second of the day. You lost your book? No worries he has an extra *nervously chuckles* You didn’t finish your assignment? You could copy his, he made sure it was right. *Looks away* Your teacher was being too much and kept frustrating you? No worries. That’s it, Don’t worry about it.

The gang was currently out shopping. The boys gazing around as if lost while you and Emma were pointing to pretty dresses on display which caught your attention. Baji was right behind you, listening to every word you guys were saying with his own personal comments in his mind.

‘You’d look better in red’ ‘Your hair smells nice’ One glance at him and you would never be able to tell that was what he was thinking. Inside his mind there was a shrine for you and you only...you and his mom that he loved dearly.

The mall was huge. 5 floors each with their own place to wander, there had to be at least something you wanted to see here. But no, you just tagged along because Emma had urged you to, playing the guilt trip card by telling you she had enough with the testosterone.

Walking towards the elevator, you listened to the way Mikey gushed over smelling his favorite food. Draken telling him to shut up and witnessing Takemitchy trip because of the ever mischievous Chifuyu.

All was well, that was until when you were about to enter the elevator. Fingers gripped the hem of your shirt. You glanced behind you curiously, along with Emma. “The elevator’s full, let’s go to the escalator instead.”

You looked towards where your friends were, each looking at you with just as much curiosity before you spoke.

“No it’s not. There’s still space-”

Emma trudged rushedly as she slipped her hand around Draken’s elbow, dragging him to the elevator where she pretended as if they occupied the whole space.

“It’s full now. Have fun!”

Your eyes travelled to the person you were left with. Him smiling with his canines out he spoke “Let’s go?”

Hanma :

❥ It pains me. It pains me to say it. But K*saki is a good wingman, if not one of the best.

❥ You can’t tell me he doesn’t bribe K*saki to help him get girls. He uses his smarts in all kinds of situations. He’s such an expert on tactics that if you didn’t fall for one, you’d surely fall for the other.

❥ Hanma being not even a pinky’s worth of a decent person, would work K*saki to the bone just to make sure you’d end up with him at the end of the day.

❥ He wasn’t really threatened with the idea of you falling for another, he was confident enough to think that nobody could sweep you off of your feet better than he can.

❥ You wanna know when you should be scared of smart people? When they’re undoubtedly desperate.

K*saki glanced around the room, he was sick and tired of having Hanma whine and keep him awake at night by breaking into his house. He was sick of having to hear about how much Hanma wanted you, he wasn’t even talking about you sexually yet it still disgusted and infuriated him at the same time.

If he had time to moan and groan about how pretty your eyes look when you look up at him, then surely he had enough time to think about a plan on how to get someone like he has. But then he remembered, out of the two, he was the only one with a brain.

From ‘accidentally’ pushing a man to bump into you or even spilling his own drink on you, he’s done it all. All sorts of cute to devious plans all to set you up with his best friend. All to shut the useless trap that belonged to Hanma Shuji.

Of course, the man in question here didn’t let his chances go to waste. Whenever you seemed to be in trouble (Ehem courtesy of K*saki ehem) he was always either one step ahead or out in the corner waiting for his chance to act like prince charming.

“You’re soaked.” He spoke as he threw his jacket over you, covering your head while still successfully covering you from the cold place you both were at. ‘Dang, I look so cool right now’ He hyped himself up, acting as if he was the man desired by every woman in a movie.

“Watch where you’re going, b*stard” he spat at the man who bumped into you after getting shoved by a hooded K*saki. A hand was placed on your waist and shoulder, your back landed on Hanma’s chest. Feeling his thin but toned body caused you to blush.

He did all sorts of things to make you fall for him. But it seemed like it wasn’t that you weren’t able to fall for him.

“...As a friend right?” you replied to Hanma’s offer. Asking you to hang out with him alone to the movies. You could hear K*saki’s eyeglasses break as well as Shuji’s mind go blank.

It was your denseness that he should’ve looked after.

[xplrvibes]

Finished The Catacombs, and once again- I have thoughts.

You would think, after all these years, that these two would learn to wear clothing appropriate for climbing and running and other such shenanigans.

Props to Sam for going along with all of this, given that he has claustrophobia and a broken back.

Dude, Sam would not help Colby get out if he got stuck 🤣.

This is apropos of nothing, but people really like The Rock's song, huh? (Saw people responding to the video with lyrics from it lol)

I don't know why, but Colby randomly leaning in to the camera and saying, "Heroin," for no reason made me laugh for like, a day. Why? What was the purpose of including that?

I'm not going to mention the careful way they managed to bring up Sucide Forest without bringing up who Colby went there with. 😉

Imagine if they really ran into Harry Styles down there 🤣😉.

Props to them for continuing with this after finding out that there were grenades down there, holy crap.

Those morons melted their xplr sticker into that goat head. This. This is how you become haunted.

They are going to wind up being the real.life Blair Witch Project someday- only it'll be like Blair Witch meets the Three Stooges.

Why does the music box music have to be so creepy?

The candles...eh. Candles burn out. Sam trying to apply science to prove the candles didn't burn out on their own was...a choice lol.

Love that the tour guide was straight up like, "I don't believe in your equipment." 🤣.

Overall, this one had a very nostalgic, xplr type feel to it for the first 40 minutes, which I totally loved. I wasn't creeped out by the haunted content on this one at all lol, but it was fun! I'm giving it a 6/10.

[rememberwincollection]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Old Guys Rule The Three Stooges T Shirt Oh A Wiseguy Eh?.

[necros-writing-stuff]

penis piss and puppy girls eh

Title of my autobiography. The trifecta of my magnum opus. The three stooge braincells that inhabit my brain.

Aka the three things my mutuals send me porn about to get me excited to write when I should in fact be sleeping.

[scammydoesstuff]

Yoooooo! Good to know we’re all on the same page here!

Now, since that’s the case (and forgive me cuz I got another ranty addition a-comin’ cuz I have a lot to say about this fuckin’ show), can someone please explain to me how Ralph was supposed to be ‘so much worse than Gabe’? Cuz I went into this episode with that in mind after Alex’s live signings where he said as much. Like, he literally used those words and I was like, ‘Hot damn — what?! Fuckin’ how can anything be worse than Gabe?!’ Cuz I’m not exaggerating when I say Gabe was fuckin’ terrifying. I have tried on several occasions to go back and watch even just that courtroom scene that’s available on YouTube and fuck me, I cannot get through it because it’s just so uncomfortable and his performance so unhinged and unsettling and then he starts to get violent right up until he’s literally dragged away and you can hear him still screaming for her in the halls and GAHH! He’s just so goddamn good at being terrible and I was so hype to see him be even worse in this episode, only to be disappointed because Ralph wasn’t that bad. He was just some dude, at least as far as what the show gave us. So where does him being terrible come into play? The confession? That he's supposedly a misogynist because they said as much? We’ve been over this; I don’t believe it when you can only present me anecdotal evidence. Gimme something substantial, ‘Blue Bloods’!

Speaking of, ‘Law & Order’ gives us a clear example of how you have your guilty party confess and make it believable. Cuz it’s a similar situation in that he admits to doing it and, at least at first, you might have to just take him at his word. Especially when he looks as soft and adorable as Alex is naturally. You think (or at least I thought), 'Noooo. There’s no way this precious lil bean could do the bad, right?! I mean, yeah he just…admitted it, but surely there'll be a twist that he was taking the fall. Lookit his face — he's just so adorable!’ However, where it differs from ‘Blue Bloods’ is that they don’t just force you to take his word for it and leave it at that. His behavior throughout the rest of the episode reinforces that confession. The way he creepily goes through her apartment at one point or visits her father in the nursing home, all while never denying he did it — just that he believes it was consensual when it so clearly wasn’t — all reinforce the narrative that was given to us. That’s why you believe — nay, that’s why you know he did it. You have to show your bad guy being the bad guy you’re insisting they are.

So yeah, I’d kill to see the script Alex was handed that made him think Ralph was somehow worse than Gabe, cuz we as the audience sure as shit didn’t get to see it play out in the episode. @heresathreebee said it perfectly; ‘Blue Bloods’ didn’t care about this plot line at all. It felt horribly rushed, like they wanted to squeeze it in, but they didn’t care how. Frankly, every plot except for the political stuff felt super rushed and squeezed in. Maybe they should’ve stuck to just 2 of those plots and separated all 4 into 2 episodes. That way all of them can breathe and be expanded upon and maybe not feel so paint-by-numbers.

But, frankly, I think I know why these plots felt so contrived and so forced. Again, this could be some conspiratorial part of my brain that’s coming to this conclusion, so I could be wrong, but I sincerely don’t think the show runners had any faith in Alex (or any other actor guest starring in this episode, tbh) to bring in a good performance since they use him (and those other characters) so little. This is a team/show that strikes me as so goddamn pretentious with its characters that — in Alex’s case, at least — I genuinely think they got this incredible actor and were like ‘*scoff* Broadway? There’s no singing here, so clearly he’ll be too out of his element for our superior programming. Just give him some bit part in this thrown together murder case while we put our vastly more talented television actors into the spotlight where they belong.’ Again, I could be wrong, but that’s how it felt. I don’t think they realized what a goddamn powerhouse of an actor they had on their hands.

‘Law & Order: SVU’ knew how talented their Broadway actors were and knew to step down and write the episode around them. They knew they’d get one helluva performance out of these two, so they took their characters (characters who’ve been around way longer than ‘Blue Bloods’, if I’m not mistaken) and said, ‘you guys are great, but we’re introducing our audience to some incredible actors, so y’all need to just sit the fuck back and watch the magic.’ Like, I gush about Alex a lot, but Eva Noblezada’s performance was just as chilling and you felt for her from minute one. She felt like a real person with real problems within a quickly escalating situation that left her feeling more and more helpless in a system that is designed to believe him over her. They were both so good and the show runners at ‘Law & Order’ clearly knew what they were working with enough to let them do their thing. Sure, that show is more structured around the cases, but they could’ve let their characters take more of the spotlight to drive the narrative, but instead knew to back off and let Alex and Eva direct the plot. Hell, the rest of the cast felt like fucking footnotes when compared to them. They were not important, the conflict between Gabe and Zoey was.

‘Blue Bloods’, by comparison, did not care about telling compelling stories so much as they just want to show off their own characters who were borderline unlikable. I’m sorry, ‘Blue Bloods’, but I don’t care about your ‘white savior’ cop being a piece of shit or the lady cops who were given busy work because y’all didn’t know what else to do with them in this episode, which seems to be why you gave their plot less than 5 minutes of screen time. I care about the cases that you’re dangling in front of us and not allowing us to sink our teeth into. Stop doing that.

Speaking of stopping; that’s probably what I should do too. I could rant and rave about how much I hated this episode forever. It makes me so mad to think about it for too long because the missed opportunity is just that upsetting (to me, anyway).

But I’m at least glad I’m not alone in this thinking! Great minds, indeed!

So about that 'Blue Bloods' episode…

I recently saw something come across my dash regarding Alex Brightman’s guest appearance on the season 11 episode of 'Blue Bloods' (The Common Good) and it reignited the vehement response I had to the episode as a whole. And, since I have this blog now, I figured…fuck it. I need to rant about it.

So that's what this is.

Take what I say with a grain of salt, of course. This show is so clearly not for me and I acknowledge that, but I went to school for and got my degree in creative writing and so much of this episode pissed me off from a narrative perspective and I just really need to talk about it. Putting it under a Read More, though, so you can ignore me if you’d like while I rage to no one in particular. Apologies in advance if you choose to read on. I'm super long-winded. Luckily I don't have pictures and this is more of just a lot of text, so…it could be longer?

So, to begin, I’ll freely admit that I’d never seen an episode of 'Blue Bloods' before this and I’ve not watched it since. I mean, if the rest of the episodes are as badly written as this one, I have no interest to either, but I digress.

Overall my main problem with the episode was how desperately it avoided ‘showing’ over ‘telling’ and, as a visual medium, that’s kind’ve a big deal. We were told pretty much every detail that was presented to us. These people love to hear themselves talk, but do little to actually show things as they happen and I believe a part of that has to do with the focus of the show itself, which is definitely unique to this brand of television. By that, I just mean that it’s not the format I might’ve expected from a show like this. Most cop shows give a lot of focus to the cases, and the intrigue you get with the characters is how they apply their own skills and knowledge to solve them, with the hi-jinks they get into along the way being more of a bonus.

This is not that kind of show.

No, 'Blue Bloods' as a show is way more interested in the cops and their familial ties than it is about the actual job that they’re doing, as shown prominently with the political plot of this episode which was also very focused on the relationship between Tom Selleck’s character and his daughter and the wholly unrelated dinner scene where they talk about lent for 2 and a half minutes and acknowledge nothing else that happened in the episode. This show doesn’t care about the job of being a cop so much as it cares about the cops themselves.

Which would be fine if I gave a shit about cops, but I don’t.

You could argue that the mentor plot is the exception to that, but that entire situation had no real consequences for the cop in question, Jamie, abusing his power. It was entirely focused on how the situation affected him and how it was fine that he’d nudged this kid to get information which ultimately led to the arrest of Dion's brother, and Dion quitting the program. Hell, if Jamie had, in his final scene with Dion, owned up to his abuse of power and left the program — to then urge Dion to rejoin so that he can have that positive outlet in his life without him there — I would’ve been way more okay with it, but Jamie faces no consequences past ‘I don’t wanna see you anymore’, which I was never convinced he actually cared about in the slightest. There's nothing cathartic about it, it's just shitty and left me feeling frustrated at the lack of consequences for the cop.

But hey, you prolly don’t wanna read me going on and on about those parts. You prolly wanna know why I hate it despite Alex’s plot — which I fully expected to love because he’s perfect and gorgeous even when he’s playing a bad guy and he was just so adorable in his lil suit and they let him keep the scruff this time, and he was all handsome an— I need to stop. That could go on forever.

Anyway, to put it simply; it was bad, but I'll definitely explain why.

Now, I don’t think any of the guests in this episode necessarily did a bad job. They still acted well enough for what they were given. I just think they had a shit script that wasn’t interested in that story line. I mentioned at the top of this that this show cared more about telling than showing and that’s a huge problem when you want me to buy a character being the culprit in your murder plot. I need evidence, not anecdotes. Cuz, yeah, by the end of the episode, I didn’t buy for even a second that Ralph did it. And it’s not because he was played by Alex who is just charisma incarnate. I can believe him playing a bad guy. I also watched his 'Law & Order SVU' episode where he scared the shit outta me. He can play a creepy and violent character very well, he just wasn’t convincing to me as a bad guy in this show.

And here’s why!

First of all, he confessed at knife point. That confession would be thrown away IRL. It’s the same problem with using torture to get information. If a person’s life is threatened or they're being harmed in some way, they’ll usually say whatever it takes to get you to stop threatening them/causing them pain. Same deal here. You can’t convince me with a confession like that.

But they didn't seem to be interested in convincing anyone as far as I could tell. They just expected you to believe it because, ‘no, didn’t you hear? He said he did it, so he did it.’ They had so many opportunities to portray this character as the shitbag that we’re told he is. Hell, great way to really implicate him? Give him a female assistant that Donnie Wahlberg and his partner overhear / walk in on him berating for something small like getting him the wrong coffee or something. Then have them talk to that assistant later on and her mention some weird behavior from him on the night of Andrea’s death. It's cliché, but it's more than what we got.

Or you could have him talk to Meghan in a super condescending voice when he approaches her after her interview later on. Or, hell, have him refer to the murder victim in a condescending way even as he talks about her death. But no. The most we get out of him is that he's maybe a little snarky and smug when talking to the cops, but that’s not enough to convince me he’s a bad dude. Frankly, his producer buddy came off as more of an asshole, if I'm being honest. Just cuz (we’re told) his character did shitty things to her in the past doesn’t mean he’s still shitty. Show me he’s still shitty. I wanna see it and I know Alex is capable of a performance like that.

Second, it’s also just…obvious to make him the culprit if we're to believe everything we're told about him. He and Andrea are described as having had beef a little while before the murder with him being abusive mentally and physically. He’s known in the community to be a misogynist and an abusive person overall. He’s the obvious suspect, but if there’s anything that Scooby-Doo taught me, it’s that it’s never the most obvious person. Like, once in a blue moon, sure — but it’s rare.

So yeah, I don’t believe that Ralph did it. You wanna know who I do think did it?

Meghan.

Alright, so bear with me. This'll prolly sound a little conspiratorial, but hear me out:

She had the motive. She confirms in the beginning of the episode that she’s also a female gamer like the victim, but that she was ‘no Andrea’. Andrea was her competition. They were (supposedly) friends and stuck together as female gamers, but Andrea was still competition. With her out of the way, Meghan’s able to rise in the ranks, if even a little bit.

She had a scapegoat in Ralph — again, the obvious suspect given his tumultuous relationship with Andrea sometime prior — and an obvious grudge against men in their community in general. And, don’t get me wrong, men in gaming can and often are hella toxic — I’m not, in any way, denying that — but she got way more emotional when talking about the men in their community than when she was talking about her supposed friend lying dead in the adjoining room.

Speaking of the adjoining room, how did she not hear the murder happening? It couldn’t have been when she was down in the bar, cuz we see Ralph there too in the crappy CCTV footage that was supposed to show him being an asshole, I think (hard to really see). Was she just fucking around somewhere else when it happened? She doesn’t mention as much that I recall (correct me if I'm wrong on that, of course). And Andrea was strangled to death. I would assume that there would’ve been a struggle with that. Are you seriously telling me she wouldn’t hear that in her adjoining hotel room? Those walls aren’t that thick. I find that kinda hard to believe. And that she wouldn’t have found her till the next morning after that, also strikes me as a little odd.

Going off on some previous points, she shows very little grief over her friend’s death. Not just in the intro scene, either, but later on as well. (Side bar: that intro scene itself was very misleading. Don’t lead with a murder plot if it only takes up less than 10 minutes of the overall runtime, kay?) The show did a pretty bad job at indicating the passage of time, but it’s implied that the convention is still happening when Meghan gets the confession out of Ralph, so it would’ve had to have been the same weekend, or possibly the same week (though most conventions I’m aware of don’t last that long — it’s usually a weekend thing, at most Thursday-Sunday — but it could be similar to AGDQ, which seems to last about a week). So, if this is only a day or so later, why would someone who is supposedly grieving over their dead friend do interviews like nothing is wrong? Wouldn't you, like, reschedule or just politely decline and say you need time to process the shock? Like, when we cut to ol’ Donnie Wahlberg calling her after her interview, she doesn’t look upset — as I imagine she might if they’d likely asked her questions about Andrea / her feelings about the murder — and she seems cool as a cucumber when she asks Ralph to go somewhere private. In fact, the look on her face indicates pretty clearly that she’s planning to do something. Specifically, not that she's scared, that she's angry.

Finally, she’s the one who’s attacking Ralph when Donnie Wahlberg and company arrive on the scene. She doesn’t seem to have any marks on her indicating that he made any move to harm her (again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember seeing her with any marks / cuts), but he’s got a clear, bleeding cut on his face. She attacked him first and was going in for the kill.

Or…was she? Cuz right before Donnie Wahlberg pulls her into that bear hug to stop her from the attack, she doesn’t do a great job of actually trying to kill Ralph. She was close enough that a quick dart at him would’ve probably been enough to at least injure him pretty significantly — maybe even fatally — and would’ve surely led the cops to pull them apart to secure him, but she kinda just hops around a bit and screams before lunging for him. That’s a really weird way to attack when you actually want to kill someone.

But, then again, I don’t necessarily think she did want to kill him. I’m convinced she wanted that confession, but that she also wanted him in jail and was playing the part of the super sad and hysterical victim who was just so overcome with her grief that she wasn’t in her right mind. I think that’s what they were going for in regards to her character in general, but it came across as less sincere in the performance and more like the character was putting on an act. They then cart Ralph off while comforting her — despite the fact that she disobeyed a direct order from police, which should lead to her being detained as well! — and that plot ends.

So, she gets what she wants in the end. A person she despises is now in police custody, her competition is out of the way, and the publicity she might get for bringing that ‘murderer’ to justice might eventually lead to her own career getting a nice boost. I dunno, it just strikes me as her having a great reason to have initiated this over Ralph just being a misogynist who 'was really trying to kill Meghan and just got the wrong girl'.

So yeah, with what the show presented to us, I believe Meghan’s the real killer. Again, if they’d done more to show me that Ralph was a bad dude or that she was more affected by her supposed friend’s death, or if they'd just given that plot more room to breathe to show those things, I might’ve been more inclined to buy the narrative they were pushing but…as is, I don’t believe it.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say on the matter. I had a lot of issues with the domestic abuse plot line too, but they barely gave that 5 minutes of the overall runtime, so does it really matter in the long run? This is just…my thought process of the only part of the episode I watched for and how disappointing it was for me. And yes, I timed each section of the episode to figure out how much time was given to each of the 4 plots, plus the dinner scene at the end, but not counting the intro theme, and the murder plot got just over 8 minutes, of which Alex was on screen for half of that time. He got less than 5 minutes of screen time. It was definitely worth it just because he’s wonderful and I just like seeing him on these shows, but from a narrative standpoint, it felt pointless.

Okay, I’m done. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Unless y’all wanna talk about this some more, cuz I’m so down for that.

[eddystshirts]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 00s Vintage Three Stooges Oh Wise Guy Eh T Shirt Adult Black L Large TV Show.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Soul Brothers of Kung Fu (Hua, 1977)

The last two Bruceploitation movies I watched, True Game of Death and Enter the Game of Death, were about what I expected from the genre. They're clear ripoffs of Bruce Lee's actual movies that restaged specific sequences. Though they differed in quality (the latter was quite a bit better than the former) and had their pleasures (the latter more so than the former), they were definitely of the schlockier vein. Neither movie approached any respectable notions of quality (not that they needed to). Which makes Soul Brothers of Kung Fu a pleasant surprise. In the grand scheme of things it's not substantially more polished than those other movies, but you can see the filmmakers putting in actual effort into the end product and treating the material with a certain seriousness. It's a better and more ambitious movie than it needed to be.

The plot follows three migrants newly arriving in Hong Kong and struggling to eke out an existence. One of them, played by Bruce Li, runs into some mob goons beating up on a young black man played by Carl Scott. After he fends off the goons, he decides to take Scott under his wing and teach him self defense. During their practice on a rooftop, Li ends up demolishing a celebratory watermelon brought by his girlfriend in order to demonstrate his nunchaku technique. Li is a mostly sympathetic figure in this movie, but this is a total asshole move. (This visual is astutely reused in a later fight scene to provide some gruesome punctuation.) Li finds some success as a competitive fighter, but any happiness is purely transitory. You see, the mobsters did not take lightly to Li's insult, and begin to close in on Li and his friends over the course of the movie. One rather effective scene has the main villain train a protege to fight, and you can contrast the warmth between Li and Scott with the cruelty being instilled in this scene. I understand there are two cuts of the movie, with alternately upbeat and downbeat conclusions. I watched the one with the downer ending, and it felt true to the preceding story.

Li is considered the most respectful of the Bruce Lee imitators, and compared to the over the top antics of Bruce Le in Enter the Game of Death, you can see him trying to turn in an actual dramatic performance instead of just an imitation. It's a pretty effective one, although hampered a bit by the dubbing. (Li fares better than Carl Scott, who is saddled with a voiceover artist who initially aims for the "wise guy, eh?" cadence of the Three Stooges.) The movie actually resists excessive Lee imitation at first, although it starts to cave in when Li's character reads a book about Lee, gets asked about his Lee influence in a post-fight interview, and spends the last act of the movie in tracksuits that resemble ones worn by Lee in his movies. The movie is also not immune to schlock, particularly in a training sequence that has Li practice his "Iron Finger" technique with a dummy that makes a beeping noise when he hits it in the crotch and two little red nubs pop out from where the testicles should be. (This visual is also reused in a later fight scene.)

But at the same time, its meager production values give it a certain tension, even if it tries to hide the low budget with Bill Conti's score from Rocky. Hong Kong in this movie is depicted as a cruel, predatory place, and the fight scenes here, which are surprisingly grisly and have a certain gymnastic quality to their choreography, feel especially bruising when staged in the claustrophobic slums and industrial settings that populate this movie. This is not a feel good movie, but I admit by the end I was fairly moved.

[chernobog13]

When the characters in the tokusatsu show you’re watching start channeling The Three Stooges:

IRON KING (in his Moe voice): Oh, a wise guy, eh? JAIROGES (in his Curly voice): Ow!  Ow! Ow!  Ow!  Ow!

[lauraashley93]

Another try at fanfiction. I debated for a good minute about posting this because I don’t feel like it’s as good but eh. Here it is.

Halloween scare

Reader and a couple of the Mayans are coming over for Halloween fun when things start getting a little spooky!

Warnings: none? Swearing?

*

It was Halloween night and Coco, Letty, Ez and Angel were all going to your house to watch scary movies and eat popcorn all night. You had spent all day decorating. You had all the lights off. Candles lit everywhere giving off that spooky feeling. Those silly wine glasses that looked like they were being held by Skelton hands filled with everyone’s drink of choice, big orange and black bowls filled with everything to chips and dip, popcorn and candy. You literally researched every “piss your pants” scary movie known to man to make sure there were no boring ones to slip through. You were dressed in your super fuzzy and soft pumpkin pajama pants with your over sized black shirt that had a ghost on it. To say you were completely extra was an understatement but you were excited and couldn’t wait for everyone to get there.

Soon enough everyone arrived. Letty was admiring all your work and Angel laughed and shook his head.

“Y/n you really have an obsession. There’s gotta be like a Halloween anonymous for you to attend.”

You narrowed your eyes and stuck your tongue out. “Very funny Reyes. Halloween is literally the BEST holiday. We WOULD be finding haunted houses to attend but SOMEONE is a party pooper.”

You rolled your eyes at Angel who just waved you off.

“Those are lame. Not even worth the money. They aren’t even scary. I have to look at Coco every day, now that, that is scary.“

Letty shrugged. “I don’t know. Sounds kinda great to me! Being scared is fun.”

Ez laughed. “It’s alright guys. Angel is just scared he will piss his pants in front of everyone. “

Angel scoffed at his little brother as Coco laughed

“Yeah Angel. Wouldn’t wanna embarrass yourself in front of” coco nodded to you and Angel elbowed coco before he could finish his sentence and shot him a glare. You were too busy laughing and putting in the first movie to notice the little exchange though.

“Okay okay, settle down children. Let’s get this party started!!” You said excitedly as you clapped your hands together.

You sat on the end of the couch followed by Angel. Ez sat on your recliner while Letty and Coco sat on the mess of blankets and pillows you had on the floor. You turned on the first movie and the marathon began.

Three movies later as you’re engulfed in the movie the conjuring you hear a noise in your attic. You furrow your eyebrows together and pause the movie.

“Hey! What are you doing it was just getting good!” Coco shouted in frustration.

“Hush! Didn’t you hear that?” You whispered a look of worry covering your face.

Ez rolled his eyes. “Y/n, you’re just being paranoid. Calm down and watch the movie. “

Angel laughed “yeah mami quit being such a scaredy-cat!”

Letty looked at the guys “no, I heard it too! What if it’s a ghost! Or a killer?!”

Angel rolled his eyes. “Really? Three movies in and you guys are already being ridiculous. And you think you could make it through a haunted house?”

Ez laughed “look, it’s probably just the wind. It is pretty windy out tonight. Just relax. If there is anymore noises I’ll go check it out to ease your mind.”

You pout and snuggle to your blanket and replay the movie but your attention isn’t quite on the movie anymore. Your paranoia is getting to you and you realize that as soon as Letty moves to stretch and you scream because the sudden movement startles you. Everyone is looking at you and you laugh nervously.

“I think I’m gonna go get more beer. Anyone want anything?”

Letty shakes her head. “No, but I’ll go with you.”

You both walk into the kitchen as the boys continue to watch the movie coco turns his attention to Angel.

“So, Hermano, when you gonna man up and make a move on y/n?”

Angels eyes grow wide as he looks at Coco. “What are you a fucking girl? This isn’t a slumber party and we ain’t gossiping so suck a dick bro.”

Ez laughs “come on Angel why so defensive? Why not just go for it?”

“Because dumbass. She, she isn’t into me. Besides, we’re best friends. ”

Ez rolled his eyes “oh quit being a pussy and ask her. You aren’t scared of ghost and goblins but when it comes to a y/h spunky girl, you freeze up. “

Ez and coco laugh as Angel stares daggers at them as y/n walks back into the room.

“What’s so funny you stooges?”

Ez smiles and shakes his head “not a thing mami, not a thing. “

Coco looks around and furrows his brow. “Where’s Letty?”

You look around and shrug. “I don’t know. I thought she came back out here. Maybe she went to the bathroom?”

Right then you all heard a loud scream. Coco jumped up and ran to the back the three of you following close behind him as you start flipping on all the lights.

“She’s probably trying to scare y/n” Ez says trying to relax everyone.

“Letty, leticia! Where are you?” Coco yelled

“Come on Letty this shit ain’t funny” y/n yelled.

The lights start to flicker until they completely shut off. Everything goes quiet for a few moments as the lights turn back on. Angel looks around making sure he sees you first a sigh of relief seeing you’re safe. You smile and grab his hand you look at Coco and grab his hand next holding on tight as if they’re going to disappear.

“Where’s Ez?” You ask.

Angel looks around “EZ? Letty? Yo quit playing your stupid game. It’s getting old and I wanna finish the movie.”

Y/n whispers “you really think they are just playing a prank??”

Angel nods “pff yeah. All that talk about haunted houses not being scary. Probably just trying to pull a fast one. The shit is stupid.”

Coco nods. “Yeah, well shit ain’t funny no more. Leticia get your fucking ass out here or you’re grounded.”

Y/n raises an eyebrow at Coco, trying not to laugh at his attempt at fatherly demands.

“Grounded?” Angel asks the humor in his voice clear as day. “She would beat your ass before she let you ground her papi coco”

Y/n laughed but quickly recovered as Coco glared at the two of you.

“Aye she knows I ain’t playing. We got a mutual respect of things. And making me think a ghost fuckin snatched her ass is grounds for grounding.”

Coco went to go say something else as the lights went off again this time you hear glass shatter and felt Coco’s hand being snatched out of yours as he starts yelling.

“Aye get the fuck off me. I ain’t the one Im gon’ fuck you up. “

“COCO!” Y/n yells

It’s quiet now. Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking as you wait for the lights to come on and you hear Angel sigh.

“So he’s in on it to? Come on guys. You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”

You’re shaking at this point as you’re holding on to Angel. “I don’t think this is a joke, Angel. I’m scared.”

Angels heart races as you hold him tightly and he wraps his arms back around you.

“It’s okay y/n. I gotchu. They’re just trying to pull a Halloween prank. ”

The lights come back on as you look around. The crashing noise had been a vase and Coco was no where to be seen. Angel was getting annoyed.

“Alright shit heads games over. Come out.”

The lights flickered again your grip tightened on Angel and there was a noise behind you. You both turn around as the lights flicker there is a figure at the end of the hall. It’s black shape and white face staring back at you. It slowly raises its hand Pointing toward the two of you.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny. Bravo guys. “

Angel speaks out to the figure and the lights turn out again. You hold your breath as you hear the floor creak. Gripping on to Angel so tight your hand start to hurt. You can swear the creaking gets louder and closer until... it stops. the air is thick and you can swear you hear angels heart rate quicken. A few seconds feels like hours until.. the light pops on and BAM the figure is right there you scream as it grabs ahold of you and drags you back like it’s simply floating quickly across the floor. Angels eyes go wide

“ y/n!!! NO! LET HER GO YOU SON OF A BITCH”

“ANGEL! HELP ME.” You scream. Desperate to get out of the grips of whatever has a hold of you.

Angel takes off running as the lights turn off again. He stops, breathing heavily. Continuing to slowly walk forward.

“Y/n where are you??” His voice is shaky.

He hears something behind him and he turns around quickly trying to see through the darkness. “Y/!n? Coco? Letty? Ez?”

He continues to walk until he feels like he hits a brick wall. He stops, swallows hard and looks up just in time for the lights to come on. He backs up to take in the full picture. A big man in butcher like clothes with blood all over them. A face that looks like it has been cut and rotted? Glossed over eyes, almost zombie like... but zombies aren’t real..are they?

His mind is spazzing as he finally looks down seeing him drag something by their hair, no not something, someone, Letty. He screams and goes to turn around and he turns right into three people in white masks and he stops and drops to his knees screaming so high pitched it might have been mistaken for a girl. Falling to his knees he covers his eyes waiting for his demise but instead he is met with.. laughter? He peeks up seeing coco, you and Ez take off the masks. He turns around seeing Letty getting up laughing. The guy in butchers clothing peeling back the latex on his face revealing Gilly as the culprit. Everyone is laughing except Angel. He slowly stands up and his once scared face is now annoyed as he starts walking toward your back door. You stop laughing “oh no, did we go too far?”

Coco laughed again. “Nah. He will be okay. Just mad cause we got the best of him. “

Ez wiped the tears from his eyes caused from his laughter “yeah, don’t worry about him.” He turned to Gilly, “thanks for the help man, he definitely didn’t expect that. “

Gilly laughed “I’m happy to help. How did you all get it to look like y/n got pulled down the hallway?”

As Coco explained that they had Letty get dressed and put a belt and rope around her and had her stand on a old skateboard so ez and coco could roll her back one they grabbed you, you made you way to the back yard where Angel was out smoking a cigarette.

“Hey” your voice was quiet as you walked up to him. “Don’t be mad at them. It was my idea. I didn’t think you’d get upset.

Angel rolled his eyes. “Upset? How would I not be upset at the thought of the love of my life being taken away and possibly killed?” Angel stopped talking as his cheeks for red as he realized what he just said. You eyes grew wide as his words sank in.

“What? What did you say?” You looked at up him. Angel just stared at the ground and sighed.

“Look, I’m in love with you y/n. I have been for awhile and I didn’t know how to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin anything and I didn’t want ruin what we did have because I can’t stand the thought of you not in my life.”

Y/n is now smiling at his rambling and shuts him up by slamming her body to his and kissing him fast and hard. Angel wraps his arms around you and kisses you back urgently. Feeling intoxicated by your taste. You finally pull back to catch your breath with a smile on your lips.

“Angel Reyes, you sir are an idiot. If I knew all it took was someone trying to kidnap me to get you to tell me I would have done this a long time ago. I love you, too. I was just waiting for you to grow a pair and come claim me. “

Angel smiled at that and pulled you closer. “Well consider yourself claimed mi amor. You are mine forever now.”

You both smiled kissing each other again as you could hear shouting and “finally’s” coming from the house.

“It’s about damn time. Now , get your asses in here so we can finish this movie.” Letty explained as you and Angel laughed following her inside to continue your movie night. Halloween is always amazing for you, but this will always be your favorite.

@angelreyesgirl @auroraariza @spookys-girl @trulysuccubus @stunning-shitz

[365days365movies]

April 3, 2021: Duck Soup (Review)

I think I’m a Marx Brothers fan now?

I really liked this movie. I really did, and it’s genuinely one of my favorite comedies so far this month...even if I don’t think it’s as good as the other two. A paradox, I’m aware. But, to treat this like the others, let’s see what happened to the Marx Brothers after this film.

Unlike Chaplin and Keaton, I won’t be going as in detail about these guys individually. They were successful throughout the 1940s, partnered with UA (unsurprisingly), and each eventually split off on their separate ways. Zeppo was first in 1933, right after Duck Soup, as he really wasn’t as featured as the rest of them. He and Gummo Marx went into business together, making a gigantic talent agency. Both were also engineers later in life, with Gummo making raincoats, and Zeppo making plane parts!

The remaining three persisted, then also eventually went their separate ways. Chico got WAY into gambling, racking up a fuckton of debt in the process, but he also starting a big band act. Harpo continued to perform on screen and stage for the rest of his life. And Groucho...well, Groucho never really stopped. Television appearances and film appearances persisted well into the ‘50s and ‘60s, until Groucho stepped away...for a bit, anyway.

And then, well...Chico dies on October 11, 1961, of severe arteriosclerosis, and at the age of 74. This broke all of the brothers (and their sister), especially Groucho. Three years later, shortly after an appearance on stage in September 1964, Harpo died of heart failure. Again, this broke Groucho, and the remaining three brothers. The only one of the brothers left to perform now was Groucho, so let’s look at him a little more, shall we?

Groucho, with his iconic eyebrows and greasepaint mustache, was BY FAR the most famous of the brothers. He was married three times, all of which ended in divorce. With the last one, he was 40 years his wife’s senior. WOW. OK. He had three children, two of whom had children of their own. And by the time of his last divorce, Groucho was 79 years old, and was a Hollywood and television legend (due to his appearances as host of the show You Bet Your Life in the 1940s and ‘50s). Also, fun fact, dude LITERALLY danced on Hitler’s grave! HA! NICE!

He continued making appearances in the ‘70s, which may have been the result of his agent Erin Fleming, who maaaaaaaay have pushed the elderly actor too hard. This is also considering the increasingly senility that Marx was experiencing, being in his 80s at this point. Eventually, she was fired, and Marx began to settle into his old age. He was given an honorary Academy Award in 1974, and given a standing ovation. This is the last time that he would appear publicly in such a major setting. Gummo died in April of 1977, and Groucho followed soon afterwards, passing away on August 19, 1977, at the age of 86.

Zeppo, the youngest of the brothers, would pass away in November of 1979 at the age of 78, of lung cancer, and was the last of the Marx Brothers alive. And so goes one of the greatest families in film history. Hot damn. I really should watch more of their films.

But let’s FINALLY talk about this picture! What exactly did I think, after all that? Check here for the Recap, and read on for the Review!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

MAN, the Marx Bros are great! Like, holy shit! Zeppo, sadly, doesn’t really get a chance to truly shine, which was something that haunted his career with his brothers (and eventually led him to leave the group altogether). Harpo and Chico are both REALLY good here, playing off each other and playing to their strengths individually. Seriously, they’re great...but nobody here is as good as Groucho Marx. Like, dear Lord, Groucho is fantastic in this movie. Sure, a lot of that is in the writing and jokes, but the DELIVERY of those jokes! Hot damn! So, why the 9? Well...everybody else. Sorry, Margaret Dumont and  Louis Calhern are just in a different film entirely. In fact...they’re actually not in a film, but in a play. Yeah, Dumont especially is acting for the stage, rather than for a film audience. And...eh. It’s not terrible, but it definitely shows. Still, the Marx Brothers more than make up for any flaws there.

Plot and Writing: 9/10

I thought the Marx Bros. wrote this movie, but no! Instead, it’s Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, Arthur Sheekman, and Nat Perrin. Kalmar and Ruby were a songwriting duo, who had been working with the Marx Bros. on stage for years before they’d been in film. Sheekman was their writer for a few of these stage productions as well, and Nat Perrin was a film screenwriter, who would eventually move on to producing and writing...the original Addams Family TV series? DAMN! All four men were friends to the Marx Bros. throughout their lives, and they injected their flair into this film. So, why the 9? The jokes are absolutely fantastic, for sure...but the ending is a little abrupt for me, and hindered by the random-ass musical number near the end. Nitpicking, in other words. It’s still fantastic.

Directing and Cinematography: 9/10

Hey, Leo McCarey, how’s it been? I think you did a pretty good job with this one, although I’m not going to claim that it’s my favorite. I do think An Affair to Remember was a little better than this, direction-wise. But Henry Sharp, your cinematography is goddamn SOLID in this movie, real talk. Still, good job to you both!

Production and Art Design: 9/10

And yeah, this film does look great. Despite not being based off of a stage production, it certainly feels like I’m watching I professionally produced play. The budget for this one must’ve been high, because the costuming and sets are pretty well-constructed all around. Not The General or The Gold Rush good, but still great.

Music and Editing: 9/10

And finally, the music. Done by the afore-mentioned Bert Kalmary and Harry Ruby, this music is...mostly pretty great. The opening song is a little off for me, and I’m not a massive fan of the random ending number, but the songs are still well-made and performed. Seriously, I don’t have any real complaints about it all, even though I would put in in my playlist or anything. And LeRoy Stone’s editing is also pretty solid, while we’re at it.

For you, Marx Bros., I grant a 90%!

This movie is a hell of a lot of fun, and a great introduction to the Marx Bros. I really need to watch Animals Crackers and A Night at the Opera, now. I love it, seriously.

But now that we’re into talkies, I think it’s time to revisit somebody from the past, attempting to break into this new era. I could go for a Laurel and Hardy film, or the Three Stooges, or even Abbott and Costello (yeah, forgot to mention them in the Recap Intro, sorry), but...no. No, we need to move on into the realm of talkies, and also close out this early era with an old friend...who isn’t doing great right now.

April 4, 2021: The Great Dictator, dir. Charlie Chaplin